Wednesday, February 6, 2013
My Run is Mine
I think by now you guys have met everyone and have learned a little bit about us. If nothing else you've learned we are all a little crazy in our own right (I mean if you run 26.2 just for fun you have to be right?) and we like to RUN! Why is the big question...
Like I said before I started running 3 years ago. Actually 3 years in April to be exact. Working out, exercise and sports have always been a big part of my life, I was a personal trainer and aerobics instructor B.K. (before kids) but like with everything there is a season . After I became a mommy I jumped full fledge into that role and let a lot of things fall to the wayside, including myself and exercising. Lots of things came into play, where was the time, guilt for leaving to go workout, etc. I could find lots of excuses! I thought it was my job to take care of them and no one else's. Problem was, I wasn't taking care of me. I was slowly loosing who I was. Life wasn't always going as planned, things were sometimes out of my control and I had to find something to do, to not just loose those extra baby pounds (can you call them that 3 years later!!?) but something to make me feel healthier and to find myself again. I don't have that aha moment where I can tell you why I decided running, I just needed something I could do that didn't require a gym (remember at the time I lived in the country and 25 minutes from anything) and could do when it didn't interfere with my family time. There goes that "I have to take care of and do everything feeling!"
I decided I could run around the block before my kids got up right? So I laced up and headed out! Um... No ma'm sister! What? You mean I can't run for 5 minutes without feeling like I was going to die?? I used to teach 4 aerobics classes a day! Are you kidding me?
I have little conversations with myself sometimes... Sorry!
Ok so something else about me... I'm kinda stubborn and determined. There was no way I was going to let this defeat me. I didn't have an iPhone, smart phone, any app, I just read Hal Higdon's 5k training, read everything else I could find and talked to one of the only people that I knew would know anything about running at the time, Stacey. It was just me and a watch, and away I went.
Honestly at first it was the hardest thing I've ever tried to do, I wanted to quit several times, but like I said, when I decide I'm going to do something, I have to see it through. After a month or two into it, I decided I needed a goal, a reason to keep running. I signed up not for a 5k, but the St. Jude Half Marathon. (I do NOT recommend this... lots of pressure and no need to push, but that's another blog!) I wasn't sure how in the world I was going to do that but I also knew there was no way I wasn't going to.
Every run got a little easier and I could go a little farther. I can't say I loved it at first but I was loving how it not only made me feel, physically but mentally as well.
When I was out running I felt more like my old self. I was in complete control of my time running. I could decide how fast and how far. That's when it hit me... This run is mine.
The control I feel when I'm running is a huge part of how this became one of my passions, I couldn't control anything else, but I was in control of my run. Being in control of things is something I struggle with daily... There are things I can't control, things I wish I could change, times when everything around me is spinning out of control... But my run is mine.
Running at first was a way for me to get healthier physically, but it has become so much more. No matter how I am feeling on a given day, I know my run is going to be a part of it. I have laughed, I have cried, I have solved the worlds problems one mile at a time, ok not really, but I like to think so sometimes! Running gives me time to think, gain perspective, pray and sometimes just run. I couldn't and can't do it all on my own, there are days when I am tired, having self doubt, feeling weak, but I have been truly blessed by some of the best friends that encourage me, that push me when I don't think I can push any farther and family that cheers me on from the sidelines. I have made new friends, experienced things I only dreamed about, and have made amazing memories that have shaped me all because of this adventure I call running. I have seen everything from sunrises to sunsets and everything in between. I have found myself again and so much more. So why do I run? Because at the end of the day.... My run is mine ...
(My first pair of real running shoes!)